Real with Rue

I often share my testimony of how God saved me from many different sins and issues in my life. But if I had to summarise it all, the core of what God rescued me from was this: a lack of identity, tossed to and fro in trying to figure out who Rue.

The Silent Crisis of Identity in This Generation

As someone now rooted in Christ, I feel a deep burden for this generation. Not because we are weak but because we are pressured. Pressured by timelines. Pressured by visibility. Pressured by comparison.

Do not get it twisted, I still feel this, but I go back to the one who rooted me. I believe the enemy has found fertile ground to attack people with anxiety, insecurity, and depression, largely because society constantly tells us who we should be. We measure ourselves against curated lives, polished achievements, and timelines that were never meant to be ours. Over time, this distorts how we see ourselves. To be clear, I’m not speaking about depression rooted in chemical or hormonal imbalances. I’m speaking from my own lived experiences as someone who lived on the opinions of others and feared judgment.

You Are Not Late—You Are Being Planted

At this age especially, comparison is loud. You see people hitting milestones you hoped to reach by now, and without even realising it, your self-image starts to erode. Recently, I’ve been listening to a song called Flowers, and one line stopped me in my tracks: “Flowers grow in the valleys, and He is planting the seeds.”

Different plants have different germination timelines. You cannot compare a willow tree to a sunflower, and yet neither envies the other. They bloom exactly when and how they were designed to. So why do we?

Identity Comes Before Assignment—Even Jesus Shows Us That

Scripture is clear: before Jesus performed a single miracle, He was baptised. And what did God say?

“This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.”

Jesus was affirmed before ministry. Before miracles. Before impact. His obedience, not His output, established His identity. Today, we live with constant access to one another’s lives. This breeds comparison and creates pressure to brand ourselves so we can be perceived a certain way. We start identifying with aesthetics, achievements, relationships, and titles instead of anchoring ourselves in Christ.

When I Built My Identity on the Wrong Things

I’m not exempt from this. I once found my identity in my degree, in who I was dating, and in being validated by men and relationships. Now, these things can be part of us—but they should never be the foundation of us. When I rooted my identity in Jesus, something shifted. I became bolder. Freer. Unapologetically myself. I realised God makes no mistakes, and I was born for such a time as this. That boldness once led me quite literally to speak to a muslim man in Curry’s while running for my train, talk to him about Jesus and He gave his life to Christ right there in the shop. That moment had nothing to do with my career timeline and everything to do with knowing who I was. A disciple of Christ.

Trends Fade. Titles Expire. Identity Remains.

In the world full of “Clean girl aesthetic,” “Mob wife energy.” Titles. Firms. Status. Who can take the most holidays all year, even working Late nights, they wear it like badges of honour. I work in a field where people cling tightly to these things, and I learned the hard way how fleeting they are. Trends pass. Titles change. Status fades.

The world will try to define you, it will try to categorise you, it will try to name you. But your identity is built on a solid rock, not shifting sand. When Jesus called Saul, he even changed his name to Paul. He gave him a new name and a new identity; you are not your old self or even your old sins.

Root Yourself in the One Who Loved You First

I often say this: “I know exactly who I am through Christ.” And because of that, even the way I move is different. I’m unfazed by other people’s accolades, but I’m impressed by their hard work. Yes, enough to diminish my own identity? No. I’ve seen people with much and no joy, and people with little and deep contentment. Happiness is temporary. Validation is fickle. The only way to root yourself in his identity is to know the one who gave you this identity, know the word for yourself. In the bible when Jesus was tested by the devil, when he said ‘if you are the Son of man‘, he would respond ‘it is written.’ He counteracted the enemy’s words with the word of life. Despite his hunger, he relied on scripture that was ingrained in his heart.

Ask yourself honestly: Why do I need to be seen this way? Who am I trying to impress? I urge you form your identity in the One who loved you before you worked for it. It will radicalise your life. Yes, I want money. Yes, I want a great job. I want to be a high-earning lawyer. Yes, I want to be the best blogger. But if it were all taken away again (Lord, please don’t 😅), I would still be loved. I would still be God’s child. I would still be Rue. And that is the identity I have in Jesus Christ.

It’s been real,

Rue.