Real with Rue

Rue AD But living BC

I have had three significant relationships throughout my life that have greatly impacted me. My first was when I was young. Then, when I went to university, I entered another relationship, and I honestly believe that is the reason I struggle to date men from a certain country today. Lastly, there was the relationship that ultimately led me to seek Jesus. It was okay, nothing terrible and nothing great, but deep down, I knew that if this man ever proposed, overwhelming fear would come over me. In fact, God revealed to me in a dream what my life would look like if I did marry him and not end it. I am telling you now, nothing shakes you up than God revealing to you how your life could go because of who you attach yourself to.

Giving My Life to Christ But Not Surrendering It

The reason 21-year-old Rue stayed was that I had given my life to Christ, but I had not surrendered it. I had not embraced the love Jesus had for me, and most importantly, even after three years of accepting Him into my life, I still did not truly know who Christ was. In fact, my close friends are aware of my insecurities and the moments when I feel them the most.

The Importance of Identity in Christ

I believe many of the things people endure come down to two reasons: sin and not knowing who they are through Christ, which only comes from knowing who Christ Himself is. It is difficult to know yourself when you do not know your Maker. It is the equivalent of Apple making a phone but providing no manual or guide to its key features. I am writing this in remembrance of how far I have come, and to remind others of who Christ is and what He says about you. The more you know about Christ and seek His face, the more you understand the power of His presence and what it does for your confidence.

Working in the Legal Industry

I work in the legal industry, and I have met a high-earning field filled with people largely from upper-class backgrounds. One thing I can say is that there is a lot of ego, a lot of self-righteousness, and a lot of hidden insecurity slapped with the band-aid of accolades. You know how I spot someone like that? They often attach their worth to the type of work they do or the firm they work for, and this becomes part of their identity. The older I get, the more intentional I become with dating, and this has become a major red flag for me. Companies fall, money comes and goes, and every other foundation apart from Jesus is sinking sand. As someone who had to delay my career plans, after allocating money I had not yet received, let me tell you now, nothing apart from Jesus is certain.

Building on the Right Foundation

One of my old friends lived by one principle: people will fail you, and it is expected. I agree, whether intentionally or unintentionally. This is why your foundation has to be Christ, the only solid rock we have. Everything else, as James describes, is a vapour. This does not mean I do not strive for success. I absolutely do. I want to work at a top law firm and become the best senior associate I can be. However, these things are not my world, and they are not my life. If I never become the world’s best lawyer, I will still remain rooted in Christ and fully worthy. These things no longer create the identity crisis within me that they once did. Every day I wake up healthy and alive, I thank God. Gratitude is something I try to breathe to stop my ego from overtaking when I think I, Rue, who cannot even produce my own oxygen to survive, do not need the grace of God.

Why Early Relationships Mattered

Perhaps you are wondering why I mentioned my relationships before the age of 22. The reason is that when you do not know who you are, you do not know what you deserve. Because of this, you accept less than what Christ has for you. I often hear women say, “But this is the best I have ever had,” and you know what, you are limiting God, because you he can do exceedingly and abundantly than you ask for, that is even written in his word, which is the best place to start.

Growing in Worth and Confidence

I also remind myself that each person I date gets better because I refuse to accept anything less than what Christ has planned for me. In the words of Sinach, I know who I am. When I forget or become distracted, just like Peter walking on water, I run back to the One who formed and knitted me in my mother’s womb, the One who defines my identity.

Knowing my identity in Christ has completely changed how I see myself. When insecurity tries to creep in, I remind myself that those things do not define me. Christ does.

It’s been real,

Rue