Every year around my birthday, I write a reflection blog. I take birthdays very seriously because life is a gift from God and, each new age is because of God’s mercy and grace on me. So, let me jump right in.
I can’t do this life without God:
I walked this year with God, giving myself a 90% score for my total reliance on God. At times, I genuinely had no choice but to rely on God, particularly when I left my old job and was so unsure because it all happened so haphazardly, but I trusted God. You see, the Christian life is not promised to be an easy one, but the Holy Spirit is always with us.
I am growing each day:
If I look back to 20 even 23-year-old me, I have definitely matured, and this should come with life but you have to want to change. I have learnt the truth between being honest and being truthful, one is my opinion and one is fact. 21-year-old Rue had a mouth and I still do, I just give it to God. I am also learning to respect people’s decisions, just because they are not the decisions I would make, people have autonomy over their own lives.
God is so so patient:
God is so patient and kind, wow. There have been so many moments when God has shown me his grace and mercy and in return, his patience towards me. He understands me so deeply and has sent the right people into my life. I am a deep empath, with a constant worry for the future, and my friends and family particularly my dad, fulfil a lot of love languages in my life. I highly encourage people to pray for the people that surround them.
The year of pruning
So, I prayed THAT prayer and the way I have lost people, some I am genuinely still healing from because I still very much deeply love them. I just thank God because none of it was done in a messy or violating manner, which brought me peace. I really learnt to put my feelings first or sometimes second, because they affect my spiritual health, so I have to guard my heart.
It is what it is, not what I want it to be:
As someone who likes to lead with tendencies to fantasize and daydream, I have had to learn to take situations as it is. If I trust God is in control, then I need to accept situations as they are, and if God believes that’s what is right for me, it will come back to me (as long as you are walking in obedience and holiness). Trusting God is trusting his plan, not my fantasies and fears.
Giving starts with faith, not your bank account number:
November – I decided that if I wanted God to help me be financially free, I needed to be the biggest giver because God only gives more when he sees how you handle the little (Luke 16:1). When I can give to the homeless (I don’t care what they use the money for, not my business) I will. I already celebrate my friends on their birthdays but I need to treat my friends and strangers, by giving more, including time. After all, when God gives me the big money I will apply these principles, I don’t want money to ever control my heart.
Take the leap and stop caring:
I decided to be intentional about my blog this year and it has really grown, I wish I had done this sooner but, it is well. I get 100 + views weekly considering a lot of people have little patience for reading these days, it means a lot for people to take time out of their day to read my blogs. I only did so because I stopped caring what people think and decided to please God. God has that thing burning in your heart for a reason.
Forgiveness is an everlasting process but do it quickly:
I think harbouring hurt is nice, in the sense that you don’t have to take ownership of healing because you were the one hurt. However, it affects your heart and starts to eat at you without realising it, so I take every thought captive and physically picture myself laying that thing on the cross in my head. Forgiveness can only be done through God, especially when you feel someone doesn’t deserve it. The Holy Spirit reminds me that, I also don’t deserve forgiveness from a blameless God. Although forgiveness is not a one-time process, you have to keep forgiving, especially when it pops up in your head. I believe this is why Jesus said ‘forgive 7×77.’
25 – my motto is ‘I don’t want to breathe unless the holy spirit says breath.’ Yes, yes I’m very scared.
It’s been real,
Rue
PS: What have you learned this year?
Real with Rue 
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