Real with Rue

I hate the phase ‘You don’t owe anyone anything,’ not because I don’t see its basis, but because it is rooted in pride that you can do as you wish, without consideration of another person’s emotions. The older I get the more my generation seems colder to me, If I look at the current dating scene, that mentality is on the high and is rooted in pride, which is why I think situation-ships are on the rise, (a pandemic in itself).

It’s not that simple:

That phase annoys me even more as people think relationships, romantic or not are quid-pro-quo and life is not like that. I remember from January 2019 for the rest of that year, I was dealing with issues that meant I did not have the capacity to be a friend. Luckily, I was surrounded by people that showed love and grace to me, with no expectation. In my heart, I am in debt to them, but I know for my friends that is just who they are. I realised there are moments when in life you have to just give and expect nothing back.

I have come to understand that it’s not as black and white, as I wish it to be. This does not mean you shouldn’t desire reciprocity, just don’t break your own heart by creating expectations on people to be like you, when they aren’t. In fact, if your character (e.g.) being kind is dependent on another person, that is not natural to you. In life you will be hurt by someone, but what you choose to do with that offence is now your choice.

At the same time, I’m not an eediat:

There is a fine line between having a good character and not being taken for granted, and I think that is boundaries. I see people enter into relationships without boundaries, but forget that they are also allowed to change, or adapt them as long as you communicate this. I have my five values, my faith, family, friends, feelings and finances and if anyone disrespects these, then I have to step back. Although, I don’t know the extent of a situation it would take for me to leave is variable. I believe you can only determine how far your kindness will get taken for weakness dependant on your personal boundaries.

My character should remain constant no matter the other person’s actions, because at the end of the day that’s all I can control, my own actions.

It’s been real,

Rue