Real with Rue

The easiest people to love: 

I consider myself to have a blessed life in many ways, but one area I thank God for is my friends. The older I get, the more I realise how lonely the world can be. I know the relationships I have with my friends are for life, which made me consider what truly makes them the best type of friends (for me) and how I maintain my friendships. 

Its a process…

Most of the time, before you become friends with someone you have chances to observe them in certain situations. As I met nearly all of my friends in church I had some insight into their character but know, not every church goer is a godly person. I can’t say this is a certified method, because with the majority of my church friends, it also didn’t start off on the best of terms. In fact, one of the girls I am close with, I swore I could never be friends with. Although, one thing I’ve learnt is you have to be open to be new people. For people I observed from a distance, I chose to invite them to watch a movie, go out for food within in a group setting. I still go out on dates with my friends, because I see my friendships like my romantic relationships. I have to consciously put effort into communication and I even try to observe some of my friends love languages, as they do I. I genuinely believe this mentality has helped so much to keep long-lasting friendships.

You can’t just have any Jack and Jill around.

You have to consider what you want from your friendships, which you can even categorise. I know for me, in my core group, I wanted people that accepted me for everything I truly am, respected my faith, to push me and challenge me and lastly to encourage me. If it sounds calculated then call me a Casio calculator, because I am so conscious of who is getting my time and energy. I know for me, my friends are the reason why I even continued blogging, through their encouragement. It seems so small, but the fact that most of my friends are asleep by 10:30pm and I used to sleep after 12am, I recently started to sleep earlier because, I saw how productive they were in the morning. Even down to my music choices, I’m not sure I would love Amapiano as much, if I didn’t have the friends I had. In terms of character and values, I agree to a large extent that there is some validity in ‘show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.’

Lastly, I believe you have to have a strong foundation which is built on love, respect and trust. Because I respect my friends and their opinions, I respect and appreciate when they come to me with issues. I know they are coming from a place of love, so they are able to tell me when I am wrong. At the same time, as a person that can be sometimes prideful, I have to look inwards to accept that I am wrong. I appreciate that my friends give me grace to make mistakes, and I give them the same back. Knowing that my friends have my best intentions at heart, reminds me that they are doing it for my good. In that same breath, I think it’s also what allows for disagreements to occur within my friends, without moving in a manner of hate towards each other.

Its been real,

Rue.

side note: This is for the people I love, the people I prayed for and continuously care about.