Real with Rue

I blinked and I was a graduate.

I graduated last week. I can’t believe how much time has flown, it felt like yesterday I was just arriving into my first year. I had the best experiences and learnt some of my biggest lessons from university. As for my graduation, I think it was very emotional for me. I wasn’t excited before however, when I put on the robe and that cap on my head, it felt real and overwhelming. I have watched people’s graduations growing up and it seems such a big moment and I never understood why. Friday taught me that a part of me received closure from this chapter of my life. Besides, my university experience finished on a random Saturday morning in May, then I went from my desk to my bed. 

what’s closure got to do with it…

Previously, I have always thought closure was unnecessary and a lot of social media tells you its overrated and to just get past it. But looking at my graduation, I think closure is very important, not in the sense to get over someone or something, but to realise that a chapter has ended. For me, my graduation and preparing, (such as renewing my student discounts) made it all real. I look at a personal situation in my life, and I remember my counsellor telling me it’s difficult for me to ‘move on’ as the matter is not closed physically. I think it’s hard to move on when something is hanging in the back and not finished mentally and physically.

what once was…

I look at my graduation and it made me realise uni has come to an end, it made me realise that I can no longer just quit a job and expect student finance but I have to tough it out now. I think sometimes people have a fear of closure, it means accepting three things. firstly, that this chapter is closed whether I like the result or not, secondly, I have to address that emotion and lastly, what now this chapter has ended? 

A little bit of me was emotional for the person who I was when I came to university, I was definitely innocent in the sense of my perception of life. I had this American dream idea of university, which quickly ended. I learnt a lot and definitely endured a lot during that period. University shaped and changed my core beliefs as a person, as a friend even. 

I guess as I enter this chapter of my life, I am still learning and I am new to this adulting word (5 working days is not for me). I have had to even change my mentality and perspective, as negative mindset +negative result in my opinion. The first thing I have learnt is the power of positivity, sounds so corny but it’s true. I don’t love my job (if you’re my friend it’s not a secret), but I tell myself it is the best job right now. I kept comparing my job to other roles in the past, but that chapter has closed. All I can do it look forward, because I can’t change the past, only my attitude to the future.

It’s been real emotional,

Rue.