Real with Rue

This isn’t monopoly, Snakes and Ladders, just vibes:

My friends and I were playing a game, they had to describe four things about me they love and one improvement. The first thing they said is, ‘Rue loves to love,’ I sighed. I hate it but I do, but unfortunately the game is the game and I have to adhere to the rules. But that’s the thing, I don’t understand the game, the rules of the game and why it is even a game. I have to be interested but not too interested, I have to be available but not too much, I have to show feelings but not too much. I have to act like I don’t care, but deep down I might care. The threshold is very confusing, and it gets even worse the older I get, and now there’s even different unnecessary stages!

This is not what God intended:

I think the worst part is now you can never be shocked if it ends with ghosting or just randomly, but I guess that’s dating, its just constantly screening each person. This is why I’m not the biggest fan of the early early stages, because I don’t know how invested I should be. The main issue being that you don’t know if people are just in it for sex or if they are looking for the long term.

I cannot lie, even when I surrendered my sex life to Christ, the game is still the ghetto. Lowkey, I think Christian dating culture is toxic, the idea that you date for finding your husband, even the friendship stage seems forced and stops natural male friendships. I feel as if it places too much pressure to visualise everyone as your husband, therefore you can’t fully enjoy each stage properly.

I think overtime the biggest lesson I have learnt is from Proverbs, which is ‘Guard your heart’ and ‘lean not on your own understanding’ because I have no understanding of the game, just lessons.Another thing I’ve learnt, is to have self-respect and confidence, and to accept a situation for what it is, not what I want it to be in my head.

Vibes and a prayer.

If you are here for advice, I have non, I am literally navigating on vibes and prayers. However, my biggest pet peeve is the lack of transparency and communication. I really think this is the main reason I hate it here and why I have taken time out on seriously dating (for now). I need someone to tell me want they are looking for and their intentions, this does not mean I want to marry you or even get into a relationship. Although, at least let me know the vibes, like should put a wig on the Facetime call or something. If nothing is communicated, you just have to assume its friendship, and you can freely put your helmet of righteousness (AKA my bonnet)on in peace.

At the same time, I hate how its frowned upon to openly say you desire a relationship, and you should aim to grind and fix yourself first. I think love has no rules, just principles, all I know is relationships (platonic or not) are a human requirement in this life.

It’s been real,

Rue x