Real with Rue

Where do I begin...

I have missed blogging, it’s something I genuinely enjoying, just sharing my opinions with people. However, life and university have been attacking me like Kirk Franklin on the phone to his son,* which has left me drained. I don’t have a plan what this blog is about but I guess its an update (unlike this, I have planned my future blogs).

*Kirk Franklin is an amazing gospel singer, who’s son recorded him shouting at him on the phone.

‘Just like realising….I don’t know’

Maybe I am the only one, but lately I have been realising life a lot more. I think more about life and the person I am and just the general experience of how crazy how life is. One minute is completely and uterly different to the next. I don’t know if it makes sense, but this life I imagined is not the same life I thought would be rosy when I was 12, it just involves me looking more and more forward to sleep and the weekend.

I think I’ve just been realising that life is literally, just constant, lemons being thrown in your face and you’ve got to make lemon sponge cake. You can’t even make lemonade, because it doesn’t even give you enough lemons to do that. I guess you’ve got to do what you have to do with what you’ve been given. This sounds so negative, but honestly the stress of University is to blame.

*Kirk Franklin is a gospel singer, who’s son recorded him on the phone shouting at him.

Evolving, changing or growing.

The biggest thing for me going on right now for me, is University. I am so drained from the emotional strength to do online work, with no motivation at times but having to realise that it’s my final year. Due to the fact that I apparently hate rest, I keep piling on more responsibilities which my blog is suffering. Despite this, I have really felt like I have grown and changed in the past few weeks. I’m learning to rely on my faith even more, as someone who hates uncertainty and lack of structure. It is hard let me tell you.

For me, I am learning to be ok with the fact that things are not ok and I don’t know what the future holds. One minute is different from the next, it can be draining at times, but I guess this is life. I’m also learning that my life is really in my opinion, just you and God.

I’m becoming more aware that things I do and habits that need changing. For example, I used to tell myself that ‘ok it’s 4:11 I will start revising at 4:30.’ Let me tell you now, scrap that, if it needs doing, do it now.

Lastly, I hope everyone genuinely is taking care of your mental health. In my opinion, taking care is doing what you feel like will positively help your mental health, even for 10 minute walk.

I recently opened up to my parents about my own struggles and they were very supportive. I honeslty feel like the walls of Jericho have been lifted off my shoulders. So, just remember that there are people around you that genuinely care, and they may even surprise you.

its been random but always Real,

Rue x