Real with Rue

How time flies and plans change

How life comes at you fast:

I look back to when I was 15, and the list of goals and plans I had before I turned 23. According to that plan, I should have secured a high salary career and a 2 year relationship (ambition is something I don’t lack). The reality is slightly different, part of me that likes to control things is stressing out, I cannot lie. In all honesty, I am not ready for marriage, and my career path I envisioned at 18 is slowly shifting. However, I am slowly learning to be ok with the fact that life is not going the way I planned it. Everyday, I have to constantly remind myself that I am still young.

For the Culture…

I don’t know why or how, but it feels as if everyone has their life together by the age of 21-25. I think it’s important to remind yourself that this is your life, someones house at 23 does not mean you have failed if you’re renting. A part of me feels like coming from an African background, there is some internal pressure that my parents have achieved so much from scratch. As a result, I can’t just be lazy and stand around and fail. The need to be Black and excellent, with a splash of Black girl magic can be so draining. I am slowly learning not to place my worth on my productivity level, such as university. Everyone encourages working till you run out and having it all before 30. In all honesty, if everyone did just focus on their own paths, we wouldn’t feel the pressure to be so great at a young age. The pandemic has made me realise its okay to take a break.

Always an Employee never an employer…

Lately, society places so much pressure for you to always have it together, and feeling like a failure if you have nothing going on, especially if you don’t have a business. I don’t know what the SPAC nation started the trend or whether it’s the whole notion of ‘being a boss’ mentality. However, no one ever talks about the reality of being self employed, the late nights, the instability of the income. This can place such a strain it on you socially and mentally. As for me, I really like going to a home not being held as collateral, if my idea fails. This is no to deter people from starting a business, but passion will drive you to start it and commitment will keep you going and there’s no idea I’m committed to like that yet (personally).

I’m still a baby girl.

I look at myself now and despite being 21, I am still learning and growing. Already, I look at my twenties and realise I made so many mistakes, money and relationship wise that I am learning to correct. Life is honestly a journey and no two experiences are the same, so I can’t expect myself to have my life together. One lesson I’ve learnt is you can make your plans but the lord (ain’t no universe around here) determines your footsteps. This does not mean you shouldn’t focus on your goals and relax for 3 years, but remember not to focus too much on what others are doing. It’s necessary to set goals and ambition, but life can really be lifeing sometimes and it’s okay to actually live your life and relax. After all, we are in a pandemic.

Its been Real,

Rue.

ps: It’s okay to live with your parents at 25, after I learnt how much they take for council tax… I might also be home at 25.

Oh how I can dream…