Real with Rue

My main reason for writing is because I learnt one of hardest lessons this week, which is being able to look at life in a positive way. It’s not that I’m a negative person, far from it but I expect an output when I input a lot.

I worked really hard for my A-Levels and I’m not saying other people don’t, but I worked hard as in I fell asleep to videos of watching psychology experiments alongside the endless videos of David Sparky on youtube added with the five hours a day of revision (six on Saturday). Deep down I feel like I have a point to prove that I can do something, which really exists ever since I started my new school in Year nine.

My goal was to work towards being in a Russell group University that I felt proud that my hard work got me there. I know that sounds highbrow but it’s the ugly truth I guess. However,  life hit me hard (like three hours of crying hard) last week. It’s not that  I looked down on other university options, but its because I push myself to really go for the best and when it didn’t go according to the AAB plan I needed to get into Cardiff and went B grade route, it was an actual shock.

The real crazy thing is that the second option University I did get into, has a better business school for law, an Internship and the year abroad I wanted (which Cardiff didn’t offer). These opportunities could push me far into the already competitive Law field, but I spent the whole day angry. I was angry at God for all that prayer, fasting and everything I did in order for him to grant me my one wish. Angry at Cardiff University for accepting other people (who frankly did better than me) and just plain angry at myself.

It’s only now I’ve fully began to realise maybe Cardiff wasn’t what God wanted for me and it was what I wanted for myself. I Now understand how lucky I actually was,  I still had a University, (a good one) that still wanted me for pure law, whilst other people are in clearing waiting for a Uni to accept them.  I know people are probably thinking I’m the type to be upset when they get B’s instead of A’s and its true I am, but ‘I’m not ashamed of my grades I just felt as if I set my self a target and failed, as we all know I hate failure.

The weird thing is, I’m the sort of person to like tweets that say “Your A-levels don’t define you’” yet at the same time I’m allowing them to do that, lesson number two I learnt, “Cry, Accept and move on”, because time isn’t stopping for nobody. It’s really true seven exams don’t-Won’t define my capabilities in life. Who Knows, I might be a better lawyer than someone with three A’s (I hope). Anyway, what I want people to take from my story is that sometimes things don’t really go the way that you planned them, and thats ok because I guess I’m learning that life is really how you comeback from a fall. Therefore, I just wanted to say that I  guess soon I’ll be starting a new unscheduled, de-railed and slightly unplanned  chapter of my life. I  have decided if i don’t embrace, I’m just setting myself back by dwelling on the negative, so here goes a new chapter at  University.

Rue